Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
