Do vagina's smell?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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