whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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