Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
