you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
