he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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