no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
