just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize