Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Its about making memories worth repressing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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