STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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