Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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