so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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