With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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