Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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