I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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