okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
