how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
