i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
