handjob tips. give me some.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
