happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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