evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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