he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize