halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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