Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.