I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
