So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
