My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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