Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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