..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
