How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Actions speak louder than pants.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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