Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Then again, he has huge mansions.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?