I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
I will die if light touches me.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me