No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
