You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
