Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
