I am puke
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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