Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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