Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
