She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
