just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Never underestimate the power of titties
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