His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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