As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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