Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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