I hate all girls vehemently.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
