the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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