We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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