she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
