I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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