I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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