Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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