It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it's like heaven, but drunker
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
