I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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