Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
should my penis look like a turkey
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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