is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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