This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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