I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
